The truth about 4 year olds

Like kittens into cats, puppies into dogs - babies will eventually turn into the dreaded 4 year old.

If you do not have children yet, or perhaps are simply the parents of a darling baby - then this is your warning. Between the ages of 3 and a half and 5, namely '4', you will spend some of that time wondering how you gave life to a small, mean, vindictive, loud, stubborn, overly sensitive, hyper active, and apparently deaf to all adults - child.

Any honest parent will tell you that there are some days they just can't stand their kids. 4 year olds are the tip of the iceberg, le piece de résistance, and the combination of both adorable and evil, try to make sense of that. The harder they are to deal with the 'cuter' in turn they get. Not at the same time mind you - they are not awful and cute at the exact same time...no, no, no. They are only cute at the most perfect moments, they wait till you are at your breaking point - the point where you reconsider your stance on spanking...they wait till then and bust out with "Sowy Mumma, I wuv you, now gimme a hug."


So here it is...the truth about 4 year olds:

4 year olds give a whole new life to the word "poo".

4 year olds can't hear rules or direction...they really actually can't hear it.

4 year olds must do it all "by myself".

4 year olds need help with everything!

4 year olds mean well, most of the time....some of the time...........every once and a while.

4 year olds know all the right buttons to push - and LOVE pushing buttons (both real and emotional)

4 year olds love pooing poo poo jokes, diarrhea jokes and any opportunity to say vagina or penis.

4 year olds give the best hugs, unless they are from behind...where it's more of a strangulation thing.

4 year olds must ask the same question a million trillion zillion times.

4 year olds stutter. A lot.

4 year olds will always admit to farting, even if they didn't do it.

4 year olds love poo and pee and bum bums.

4 year olds like to smell markers and draw all over themselves. Invest in washable everything.

4 year olds will stay well behaved till you specifically ask them not to do something - at which time they will immediately do that which you asked them not to do. Immediately.

4 year olds will blame you if you do and blame you if you don't.

Yes, these tiny terrors are everywhere, they are your children, your friend's children, your neighbours kids and they will find you and ruin part of your day somehow or another.

Ever see a four year old kick some random passer by? I have. And it ain't pretty.

The adorable 4 year old is a force to be reckoned with....and they are out there, just waiting to lure you in with their cutesy pie ways. You have been warned.