It been a long time Blog, did you miss me

Much has happened in the interim of the last 3 years...

We bought a HOUSE! Actually we bought *the* house I grew up in! We are finally "grown up's" (albeit we did already have 3 children by this point). It was an exciting endeavor to say the least, and one with added bonuses of FREAKING THE FUCK OUT because now we have a mortgage - but you know, we love it.

We have also welcomed our little "accident" baby, or perhaps the better term is "oops!", Angus Griffith aka Gus, aka Griff, aka Angy Griffith, aka Angus McGriff, aka Griffy Poo, aka Griff Griff Magoo, aka Charlie (I shit you not), aka Changus, aka Gruss, aka Levi - well you get the point, he has a lot of names. We expect him to be perpetually confused for the rest of his life and have identity issues. We are ok with that.

Life in a word has become 'turbulent'.

Seriously.

I am struggling to be funny or interesting in this update, but that may have to wait for when humour actually exist in my life as a subject I can relate to and not (instead) a subject I am the star in.



Life goals as of now:

Don't have any more children.

Pay off bills

Get more sleep.

01/20/2009

Today the World looks on as the United States of America inaugurates for the first time in history its first black President. And for the first time in a long time we see that hope is not always in vain. This day marks for humanity a moment in time where the World stood still to watch as the better man won. Barack Obama stands for more then just his race, he stands for change and gives us the sight to see not only ourselves but our neighbors for the first time in a new way. Today my children can hear the words 'be anything you set your mind to' and believe that can be true. Today is the dawn of a new day. Yes we can.

Death becomes a cat.

After I watched the poor cat die; after I went in and got a baby blanket to wrap it's now still body in so that perchance should the owner come upon it they would know that someone had cared for it in it's last minutes; after I went back inside and cried and cried about this little soul that I had never known; I was struck with the memory of my young stupid cat, so many years ago.

A cat much like this one, cocky and brave and dumb to have crossed a busy street in the night. His body wrapped up, those many years ago, like this cat is now, in a blanket, and placed kindly on the sidewalk so that he would not be run over again. I can only hope that someone pet him and spoke to him while he died as I did with this 'stranger' cat, I can only hope that he felt safe when he lost all feeling and drifted off to who knows where.

With calm and soothing lies I spoke to this cat, 'it'll be alright' I mustered - knowing that it wouldn't. It's body ached and arched, it's tiny mouth breathing so hard. And in only a few treacherous minutes it released and was gone. Leaving just an empty shell of a cat. I feel like instead of a help I was a grotesque spectator of this cat's very personal and painful demise.

My heart thumps so fast and hurts as I relive the moments in my mind. I felt so helpless, and yet there was nothing I could do. Who would think this tiny creature could phase me so much?

In the moments that passed his body was moved by numerous people, independently of each other, from the edge of the street to the edge of the sidewalk, to the inner part of the sidewalk on a plank of old counter and finally he was covered by a thin plastic to protect his lifeless body from the rain.

Even in death he managed to phase all who passed him and bring a little more humanity to all of us as we reached out to morn and respect the body of a dead stray cat.

I used to write to write

Now I write to remember that I used to write to write.

Poem 3

Old one
Your beautiful lines
Your brilliant song
You in the way you laugh and love
truly you tickle my life
come back to me

Poem 2

Don't listen to it.
The this, the that.
Just the same old shit
To make the sweet tomorrow last
Like hope in tears
and remembered past.

Poem 1

Magnetic woman

See it, believe it
Flick her on.
A lifetime asleep cannot hold this down
A yesterday here, and always gone
You'll love the way tomorrow was wrong.